Protect your craw

I had a job. Not too long ago. I worked part-time in a building, in an office, a suite, and the building had a maintenance man. The maintenance man was fit, strong and friendly. I often needed his help with things. If a package was scheduled to arrive and I couldn’t be there or if I had to move something heavy upstairs, I could always count on him. He was up for anything.. always willing. One day he started hugging me. I don’t know exactly what day this was or even why it started.. I worked in that building for almost 20 years. I didn’t want to hug him. He left a lingering offensive cologne that reminded me all day of that hug. And the hugs were also lingering. I’d pull away and try to make my exit but he was very chatty. One day, I don’t exactly know what day this was, he started telling me about his trips to Mexico to see family but mostly to visit the brothels. He told me about his experiences in the brothels. In great detail. How he could last forever and was very generous, both monetarily and physically. Normally, I’m a big fan of hearing about my friends’ fun sexual escapades. I run around in a very sex positive community. But this felt different. We weren’t friends. And I never indicated any interest in this kind of chat. I smiled and laughed and tried to beg off. “Gotta get back to work.” “I’m late for a meeting.” If I was a different person, larger, stronger, more confident, or grew up with kind men, I might have told him to fuck off and stick to his job, and just lived with the repercussions. But I was afraid of how he would react. I needed his help too often. I went along to keep the peace. He began inviting me up to the top floor. Told me about the pool table he shot on during lunch. The cool rooms and history of the building. He offered to make me lunch. And then he began offering other favors. I would laugh.. “no no nooo haha thanks noo I have to pass haha.” The offers never stopped. About 12 or so years into this I started going through menopause. It was brutal. The mood swings, the lack of libido, the intolerance for .. well, everything. I finally told him, I’m going through menopause, I have no sex drive, I don’t like hearing about sex, and I told him I don’t want to hug him. He attempted a handful more times and each time I was able to be firm. I lost my fear, I lost my ability to laugh it off. I was angry. Angry that I put up with that stupid shit for so long. Angry with myself. Angry with this fucking clueless nethandrathal. Angry that this is the situation for so many women.
I am no longer at that job. I no longer have to look at that man and relive the years of ick. So many women have no choice. Women that you know right now are experiencing this. They wake up day in and day out to face these situations. I realize now that the fear I feared from telling him ‘No’ would not have been as bad as having to put up with the amount of shit stuck in my craw. But when you’re in it, you just don’t know. I’ve never been a brave woman. I’ve seen the worst that can happen from a very young age and it terrified me. It’s part of my DNA. I don’t know how you get women to be unafraid and speak up when there is a very real danger. I hate that women have to grow old with painful life experiences sticking in their craw.