Green Green Green

In 1999 I was scheduled to meet Jason at the Exit Theatre. I was going to tech the fringe and hiding my greenness I tried to put on my best, “Fake it til you make it” face. Except while I was standing on Eddy waiting for him to show up, I wasn’t fooling the pigeon who took the opportunity to call me out on my bullshit leaving a package on my shoulder. I didn’t have anything to clean off his declaration so I hastily wiped my sweatshirt on the brick wall. Nothing like a pigeon to set the record straight.

I was assigned to the Shelton Theatre. Little did I know I was just across the hall from the second theatre I would own and run a decade or so later. The shows I was given to tech are stuck in my memory. I was so new and squeaky, trying so hard to hide it and pull off the seemingly impossible when in walked Roblin Davis. A clown from Alaska. I asked him for a script and he said he had none. ‘Do you have light or sound cues?’ ‘Yes’, he said, ‘both.’ In a silent panic, I mused ‘How do you throw cues without a script?’

He suggested I grab a piece of paper and a pen and have a seat in the front row. He went through his show and gave me notes like… “When I move my foot like this, I want this lighting look.” I scribbled furiously. “When you see the ball arch at it’s highest point, I want this lighting look.” And on through a 50-minute show. I was feverish with worry. What the flock have I gotten myself into? We set looks and did a quick run thru. I took that script home and re-wrote it and studied it and spewed a lot of “you can do this.” Believing none of it.

The night of the show I was nauseous. And excited. I was in that place.. what’s it called.. oh yeah.. ‘Outside your comfort zone’. I tried to remember this is where living lies. The show went off without a hitch and I discovered two things. Roblin Davis is the greatest clown to walk the planet and throwing cues on movements actually makes you a kind of actor in the show, an indispensable co-creator of the moments. I fell desperately, passionately in love with technical theatre. To this day I have never done a show quite like it. His show was called Mumble in a Numbskull: An Existential Clown Show. Described as: ‘Mumble has a big nose, but that never stops him. Lost and searching for the absurd, Mumble finds his way with joyful confusion. A theatre of wonder with love, death and fun. A thoughtful delight for all ages.’ I’d walk to Alaska to see him perform again.

The second show was a group of kids called Wits End doing a piece called Woyzeck. ‘What can happen in the single sweep of the second’s hand, a flash of a knife, an exchange of an earring, an experiment of the human mind? This is the tangled world where Woyzeck reenter the events surrounding his inevitable madness; a world where the question remains — do you want to go in?’

I can’t exactly tell you what happened in this show but I do remember being so humbled by the talent, creativity and ingenuity, it left me with an awe and passion that further cemented my future.

I was addicted to the fringe, the Exit Theatre, Jason Ries, Christina and Richard.. the techs that year were star-studded, Bart Grady, Jason Craig, Jessica Jelliffe, Nicole Gluckstern, Alex Lopez.. just to name a few.

I was a sponge and Jason helped me figure it all out. I got to work with Lunitique Fantastique and Libby Wetzel over on Taylor. Some of the greatest puppetry to ever be puppeted. I was assigned to Rogues Yarn on their first year in the states. They were from England and I still remember walking down the stairs at the Powell Street Bart to the Cable Car Café. There were seated 3 gents and little did I know we would be creating a life long friendship. Their physical comedy was unmatched and the late night after show parties were filled with endless drunken laughter. We carried on partying in England when I visited them. It’s remarkable how I can share 6 bottles of wine with 3 people in another country and no hangover but do that here…

The Neo Surrealists. If you know, you know. Nudity led to topless tech led to topless audiences and a never-ending supply of absurdist comedy and creativity. Ah, to be that young and free again.

I kept working at the Exit outside of the fringe. I learned most of what I know from Jason, Bart and the numerous shows. My first nerve wracking light design was in the Main Stage in which I heavily leaned on Bart. Oh, I remember the moment I decided not to be a scrawny weakling. Jason asked me to get the big ladder and do a thing. It was located stage left on the audience floor and I had to lift it and bring it to the stage. As a 98 lb weakling, I heartily struggled to move that ladder and not appear struggling. I went home that day and swore I’d work out so I never faced that situation again. That began my exercise routine that I still practice today.

I remember when Amanda took over after Jason left. I was beside myself, this amazing woman with all her competence just swaggering through the place. <swoon> It was hard to concentrate sometimes. Not long after I got my first theatre and then my second and third. I fell away from the Exit but always came to the Fringe and hob knob’d with the familiar faces and got to see my absolutely favorite brick wall in all of San Francisco. If that brick wall could talk… Is it just me or does the Main Stage brick wall make you feel things?

To say I’m kicking and screaming with the realization that this icon, this hot bed of collaboration, connection and creativity is being put to rest is, embarrassingly, an understatement. I’ve been running numbers all day. Twisting, tweaking, sweating, begging for there to be a way to keep it alive. I’ve spent most of my career working for little to nothing just to make a thing go. Can I do it again? Alas, I cannot make the numbers work. The tension in my neck, the stiffness in my back, the creeping exhaustion from panic and effort all day… I might have to let go. Linda from the Phoenix suggests we sleep on it. It’s more than just the loss of an institution. It’s the changing landscape, the aging we’re all feeling, the end of something that is almost impossible to replace. It hit me extra hard. I wish I could have a talk with that brick wall.

EDIT: Ha! Of course I’m making this all about me… I can’t thank Christina, Richard, Amanda, Jason and all the other many people who worked so hard to create a very unique institution that changed the lives of an incalculable number of actors, techs, writers, directors, audiences.. The effort to make a thing like this go is kinda staggering and I bow down to their efforts and sacrifices. I know there were many. Thank you.